She displays extraordinary mastery of computer hardware and software but has horrible social skills, displaying symptoms consistent with Asperger syndrome.
Everyone hates Chloe because she’s so annoying and always says the wrong thing and is embarrassing, as well as being more intelligent than everyone else in the office. Everyone hates intelligent people, especially when they know it. I actually relate to Chloe and I find her very amusing.
Of course I’m nowhere near as weird or as intelligent as Chloe, but I still always say things that I shouldn’t and freak people out, or find myself slapping my head in annoyance when people don’t “get” it, then wondering “why do I do that? I hate myself!” I spend a lot of time feeling guilty about it. Yes, I do sneer internally when people are stupid. This is partly because I feel like other people are sneering at me. I just have to go about my normal life in an office and within a couple of weeks I’ve been labelled as the Chloe who doesn’t talk to anyone and only ever speaks to make some sort of frustrated, sarcastic outburst that I always regret. I can be hostile. I try very hard to be nice. I relate to animals much better than humans. Animals always put a smile on my face. Sometimes I make nasty remarks about people walking down the street, usually if they’re wearing ridiculous clothes. I seem to generate some sort of repulsion field that stops me making friends. I never learned the niceties of conversation like “how are you?” or “how is your job going?”, which always felt fake to say. I still struggle to spit them out today. I do not “do” offices well. I used to be much worse than I am.
I’m not a nasty person. I often think about ways I can try and help people, whether that’s because they’re sick, or because they have social problems of their own. I feel really sorry for people who are ill or who don’t fit in. The rest of the time my thoughts are focussed on something more abstract, such as biochemistry, nutrition, politics, or the design of society.
I’ve always joked to myself that I’m a bit of a social autistic. I always had to put a phenomenal amount of work into figuring out what was going on in other people’s heads. I always used to either over-think or under-think things. When people say or do things I just don’t understand I’m always really shocked by it. As a teenager I was such a social retard that I literally couldn’t even look people in the eyes. I was defined as “shy” by my family and “a snob” by my classmates. “Shy” really isn’t the word for it as it was far more extreme than shyness. Being defined as “a snob” really hurt me, because I wasn’t. I regarded myself as lower on the social ladder than everyone else. If anyone suggests that I’m a snob or says something like “you think you are more intelligent than everyone else,” then even today I am totally crushed and hurt by it and I simply can’t forgive them. Even now I don’t like putting my friends out by even emailing them about my life.
Because my level of social weirdness is relatively mild, I doubt I’d qualify as having Asperger’s on the tests. Besides, I know how to cheat those kinds of tests anyway.
Someone with Asperger’s left a message on my blog a few weeks ago. He had diagnosed himself with Asperger’s as an adult. Typical of someone with Asperger’s to diagnose themselves!